Affirmations to help deal with loss

Uncategorized Feb 19, 2021

Our thoughts create our reality.  And when we’re experiencing grief, our feelings and thoughts can exhaust us and negatively fill up our mind and heart. When we become aware of these heavy or negative ideas and emotions, we have the ability to transform them. The way to transform feelings is by fully feeling them.  The way to change our thinking is to change a negative thought into a positive one. Affirmations are a helpful tool in doing this.

An affirmation is a declaration and positive thought to help move you toward peace and happiness. We can allow whatever feeling to just be but we don’t want to wallow in it. In times of sadness, an affirmation can allow the mind to shift from a negative thought into a positive one. It can transform our state of being.

An affirmation may be said repeatedly or just once. Some people post affirmations around their home to remind them of these ideas. Below is a list of affirmations that may help guide you in troubling...

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Grief Yoga – The Body Remembers

Uncategorized Feb 19, 2021

“Men don’t cry, toughen up and be strong.” As a shy kid growing up in Southern Texas, I was taught that sadness was a sign of weakness. I never felt like I fit in. Instead of allowing others to witness my sadness, I would isolate myself from others. That disconnection happened socially, but also physically too. I began to over eat and drown my feelings. I avoided gym class for the fear of being ridiculed.

As I became older, I ran away from any feelings of sadness or grief by becoming active. I put on a happy face and became very busy. I avoided anyone who was a “downer”. I didn’t attend my grandfather’s funeral. Even as I was well into adulthood, I avoided my best friend’s mother’s funeral. I knew her well and disappointed my friend when I wasn’t there for him. I searched for relationships to help complete me but felt heartbroken when they didn’t work. There was an imbalance I was experiencing in my relationships...

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Grief Brain and Moving Forward with Grace

Uncategorized Feb 19, 2021

Grief Brain and Moving Forward with Grace

Experiencing loss and sadness has a profound impact on our life. Grief brain is real. And it takes a toll on our body.

Last year, my younger sister was in the final stage of losing her 7-year battle with cancer. At the same time, I was witnessing my 16-year old dog wind down in life as her body slowly fell apart. Death was knocking on the door to my life. Not to take my life, but to take away two of my dearest companions.

The anticipatory grief was exhausting to process. A cloud of depression hovered above me and I felt unmotivated to move forward.

My mind was filled with anxiety. I was scattered and unfocused. I was focusing on the future and what life would be like without them. My body felt drained because the worry in my head took so much energy. I felt helpless. I wanted to do something to help those I loved dearly, but there was nothing to do except to just be with them. To take care of them as their body slowly began to break down....

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Witnessing Grief

Uncategorized Feb 19, 2021

When moments of sadness or anger rise up in me, I want to run away and crawl inside my shell like a turtle not letting anyone see my pain.

I developed this reaction as a teenager. Boys crying was a sign of weakness in the Southern Texas world of my youth.

I used to think it was easier to avoid pain and hurt, or attack others, or be cynical. Now I realize that I was just holding the pain inside of me letting it boil as I built a wall around my heart.

As an adult, I’ve embraced something different. Instead of running away from the sadness, I try to lean into it and allow others to witness my vulnerability.

When my grief is witnessed, all the masks and layers I use as protection wash away. I am seen as I am, and at times that can appear like a hurt child seeking love.

Even though it can be an exhausting experience, I feel tears helping to purify and cleanse my soul. I walk away feeling lighter and more open.

In this vulnerability I feel empowered by allowing others to witness it....

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The Purity Within Grief

Uncategorized Feb 19, 2021

I don’t do grief perfectly. Who does?

Grief is exhausting.

Yet I know it’s an expression of life that needs to be expressed because if I resist grief, I resist love.

When experiencing a loss, it can be one of the most sacred times in life. Your heart and soul experience such devastation that can rock your foundation.

Taking the time for self-care is more important than ever. Some of the most devastating times in my life were also some of the purest. My heart would feel so raw.

Even though I may have felt broken, I connected to something pure beneath the surface. Loss can be a pure part of life because it teaches us what’s important. It’s a time that allows our hearts to speak and share.

I’m always seeking guidance on ways to help during deep disconnection. I wanted to explore how to find purity in times of deep struggle and ways to help others during those times.

Again, I don’t do this perfectly in grief. But I write them below to remind myself of...

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The Path of my Recovery

Uncategorized Feb 19, 2021

This is my 6th year anniversary of continual sobriety. As I witness where I’m at now, I can’t help but remember the path that brought me here.

I was raised in a strict religious household and drinking alcohol was considered a sin. I was shy and afraid to show myself and connect with others. This turtle enjoyed hiding in his shell.

When I first started drinking alcohol in college, I was amazed at how this different side of me would come out. Alcohol allowed me to loosen up and be more playful. I felt more attractive and funnier. It was a better party with Paul.

It wasn’t long until I found a new best friend in smoking pot. My inhibitions faded away. The high made the real world easier to be in. If I was ever struggling emotionally, I could get high and blow the troubles away in a cloud of smoke.

I loved creating things high, believing my creative flow expanded my normal boundaries. For a brief moment, it probably did. Life seemed better, love seemed easier. It...

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